Have you found yourself having to endure far more than you thought you could bear? Are you becoming weary of needing to be strong?
You may be a daughter caring for your parents as their health is failing. Perhaps you are staring at two lines on a pregnancy test and know that your decision to keep this baby will be made with no support. Maybe you are the single mother of multiple children, who is one paycheck away from losing everything. Moreover, you could be the wife of an addict, and each day feels tense, unpredictable, and hopeless. You might be in the throws of a painful divorce, or feeling the bitter sting of the untimely death of someone you love most.
You aren’t alone.
No matter the difficult circumstance, I know all too well how it feels to be saying, “I don’t want to have to be strong anymore.” You often find yourself having to hold it all together, starring in a role you didn’t audition for. Regardless, for the sake of your children, marriage, loved ones, or even your sanity, quitting isn’t an option. While you may not feel strong, you are doing what must be done anyway.
Before I go on, I want to be explicit that any advice given here is never meant to encourage you to stay in an abusive situation. If you or your children are in danger, my only counsel is for you to find the quickest, safest way out. God has not called you to endure abuse and my prayer is that you will seek legal help, safe shelter, and support from your church body immediately. Please get in touch with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for more information.
With that being said, I’d like to use some of the lessons I have learned through my own journey to encourage you. My prayer is that even in the throws of the storm, you can find your hope and solace in Jesus.
Let’s start by ripping off the bandaid:
God is sovereign.
Down to our molecular makeup, we must remember that the Lord has authority over all of creation. Your difficult circumstance is not a surprise or mystery to Him. We even see in the Book of Job that the devil could not harm a hair on Job’s head without the Lord’s permission to do so. What can be a hard pill to swallow is that in His sovereignty, He has brought you here.
Of course, there is no way to understand the “why” of God’s plan for us. We will have some experiences that feel cruel, unjust, and unfair. However, we know that is not the nature of God. He promises that He will work all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Nonetheless, that may not ease the hurt for the mother who is in the hospital with her terminally ill child. It can make little sense for childhood victims of sexual trauma at the hands of a trusted family member. The pain of these experiences can be without depth and very real. Yet there is hope.
Our earthly experience was doomed to be broken from the moment sin entered humanity in the Garden of Eden. But, in his loving mercy, the Lord did not leave us that way. He sent Jesus to break the stronghold that sin and death have over us and offer life anew. Death is not our end, eternal life is. Brokeness does not define our identity, Jesus does. The weeping mother will be comforted and the shattered soul will be made whole. Undoubtedly, we can count on His promise to make all things new (Revelation 21:5) with the same confidence we have in Him to raise the sun each morning.
God chose you.
Recently, I experienced a devastating miscarriage. It took weeks after missing the heartbeat for my body to release the baby. The anger I felt caught me by surprise. I was struggling to find peace, and every time I thought I had, the hurt and anger would return. Finally, prayerfully, as we were laying this teeny tiny baby to rest, I felt the true peace I needed.
At that moment, I realized that I was honored to be the mother of this baby. In a world that promotes viewing the unborn as lives without personhood, I was able to consciously love this little person. In his or her very short life, he or she was loved. As a result, my bitterness that God took our baby from us turned to joy. He chose me to acknowledge the life of this tiny human, value it, and treat it with dignity. It was a privilege and a way to bring God’s light into the world. What was, and still is, a painful experience has become a treasure in my heart.
I share that story to encourage you to reflect on your own difficult calling. While you may immediately be able to think of plenty of other people who you feel are stronger and better equipped to take on the task, God ordained you. You are the very mother that your children need, the daughter that your ailing parents can rely on, or the wife that can care for your sick spouse. For your growth and His glory, He chose you. While your calling may be a heavy burden to carry, it’s also a privilege and honor that the Most High has put you in a place to show the love of Jesus to others.
God is actually strong.
Finally, let’s clear up some misinformation I have heard often. God will give you more than you can handle. Not because He is heartless and wants you to crumble, but because He wants you to turn to Him. Ultimately, He is the giver of life, there is no good that we can experience apart from Him. He will give you more than you can hold so that you, in turn, will hand it over to Him and keep experiencing His goodness.
The Lord did not bring you here for you to be strong in your own strength. It’s in our weakness and insufficiency that we learn to cry out to Him, “You are my only hope, I can only do this through You.” Often you will find that you are at the end of your patience, optimism, or energy and you have to keep going back to Him, through His Word and in prayer, to renew. Rest assured that God can handle your brokenness, tears, anger, and even doubt. It’s returning to Him in humility that unlocks the door to His strength so you can continue. What can go against His power and still stand?
The truth is, the outcome of your situation isn’t really resting on your shoulders, it’s in His strong hands. He has only asked you to be faithful and show up. Hardships may keep coming your way, but He already has a plan for what will happen next. There is a beautiful purpose in everything that you will face. Not a purpose that sees itself to an earthly end, but of far greater value: an eternal purpose. In His profound wisdom, He is making you more like Jesus each day.
A final word.
I want to leave you with this, Jesus tells us to not be anxious for tomorrow but only be concerned for this day (Matthew 6:34). We develop a spiritual muscle memory to place our trust in Him when we practice this. Truthfully, there is nothing we can control in our difficulties except where we place our hope.
The Lord brought you here, ordained you for this difficulty, and will be the strength you need to endure. He knows the depths of your pain and died to redeem it. Jesus is the solid rock that can not be shaken. I pray that you can lay it all at His feet, renew your strength in Him, and pick up your armor to carry on.
