How to Life Hack Hospitality

If you are always on the go and forgetful like me, hospitality may not come naturally. Even with the best intentions, you may find your schedule too hectic for company, or just lacking the patience to meet a need with grace when it arises. As busy as the modern woman is, that’s just how it goes, right?

Disclaimer: This site contains product affiliate links. We may receive a commission if you make a purchase after clicking on one of these links.

To demonstrate, I’d like to share a story of my own shortcomings. My husband has a heart for newcomers in the church and loves to invite them for dinner. I have all too frequently looked like a deer in headlights when he let me know that so-and-so was coming over. Suddenly, I’m panicking about what to do for a guest-worthy meal because I had planned for us to manage with leftovers! Rather than discourage his passion for fellowship with the body of Christ, I knew it was my heart that needed to be ready to serve when the opportunity was present.

As with any topic we may wrestle with, we should always find our starting point in the Word of God. First of all, let’s define what hospitality means and then see what scripture has to say about it.

A quick Google search will tell us the Oxford language definition of hospitality is the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. Does this behavior sound familiar to you?

Hospitality in Scripture

If we want to see the ultimate example of hospitality, search no further than our Lord Jesus himself. He so frequently fellowshipped and ate with the lowly of society, that it enraged the Pharisees (Matthew 9:10-11). We see in scripture, that he was moved with compassion towards others, feeding them physically and spiritually (Mark 6:30-44). Furthermore, if you think that he did not care that people were having a good time, recall how he not only turned water into wine to save a wedding, but he made good wine (John 2:1-11). Our Lord is personable, gracious, and finds importance in fellowship, so we should too.

Indeed, following Jesus’ example is the most compelling reason to be hospitable. If that weren’t enough, scripture outright commands us to practice hospitality in this manner:

Romans 12:13 “When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality”.

Hebrews 13:2 “Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!”

Luke 14:13 Jesus said, “When you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed”. 

Matthew 25:34-36 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’”

1 Peter 4:8-9 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling”. 

Why is Hospitality so Important?

For starters, Christian hospitality creates and strengthens relationships. God cares deeply about how we relate to others, it’s the second of the two greatest commandments. There is something profound about fellowship together, especially when we are gathered around a hot meal. It’s not just about the physical need to eat, it’s personable. Hospitality is a way to get to know others and carry each other’s burdens.

Furthermore, it shapes our hearts for service. The essence of hospitality is to cater to others. Essentially, it’s a way to emulate Christ who said He came not be served but to serve (Matthew 20:28). We experience the joy of giving and being a blessing to others.

Finally, it opens the door to sharing the gospel with the lost and encouraging those who are in our faith family. Gathering to eat is a time to slow down. As a result, there are opportunities to listen to each other’s testimonies, bear one another’s burdens, and discuss difficult questions about our faith. Moreover, it may be the first time your guests see how Christians love and serve each other. Hospitality is part of our witness.

Are you convinced that hospitality is important for our walk with Christ yet? Wonderful, because I am going to share some very practical ways to be prepared for following this command.

Helpful Ways to Practice Hospitality

Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a career woman, you can find easy ways to have an open heart and home.

How to be Prepared

It’s easiest to say “yes” when opportunities arise if you feel prepared. Use the following tips to prevent being caught off-guard the next chance you have to be hospitable.

• Purchase a few inexpensive disposable cooking pans and utensils. These are versatile for bringing food to someone else or for easy clean-up after a big dinner. Even more, you can really splurge on these at the dollar store and not break the bank.
• Keep a few good, low-maintenance recipes on hand for last-minute preparations. Preferably, these are inexpensive and made with mostly non-perishables that you can keep stocked. I recommend anything made with ground beef as it can be quickly thawed from the freezer. Consider options such as chili, pasta with sauce, casseroles, burgers and hot dogs (the buns can be frozen and also thaw fast).
• Don’t forget about dessert! Dump cakes are excellent for feeding a crowd and only require cans of fruit or pie filling, cake mix, and butter. Alternatively, you can store an emergency box of brownie mix. If you have kids, you may want to keep it well hidden.
• Purchase a case of water bottles and always have some stored in the fridge. There are numerous opportunities to offer refreshments to landscapers, delivery workers, and even kids playing outside. Hospitality can be shown in these everyday moments too!
• If you have kids, keep ice pops or other inexpensive treats around for when the neighborhood kids come to play. Make sure you have permission from their parents, of course, in case they have allergies.
• Hold onto old baby furniture or toys for when you have a mother of young children over. Ideally, you can keep some items that store easily, like a pack-n-play or foldable highchair.

Heart Posture

The most affordable ways to prepare for hospitality are often the ones we will struggle with the most. For that reason, prayerfully examine how each of these suggestions could fit into your life.

• Start each day by handing the keys over to the Lord. Hospitality begins with yielding your plans to God’s plans. Daily surrender is the difference between begrudgingly opening your home and finding joy in service.
• Designate a routine time in your schedule to invite others over. This could be weekly, bi-weekly, or even monthly. Before you resign that you are too busy to do this, consider how many other commitments you manage to squeeze in. Prayerfully review your routine with the Lord and see where He leads you.
• Pray for a patient and willing heart for unexpected opportunities. Believe me, the Lord will make appointments you know nothing about.
• Seize the occasion to witness. Maybe God sends that needy neighbor your way because He is trying to love them through you. Perhaps your kid’s friends always ring the bell at dinner because the Lord wants them to see a family that prays and fellowships around the table. When Jesus is knocking, let Him in.
• Decide in your heart that what is yours is His. Examine what you have and ask the Lord how He wants you to steward it. Of course, if you are married you will have to do this with your spouse. Do you have a basement or spare room? Is God calling you to offer a room to someone trying to get on their feet? What about a shut-in neighbor who rarely gets a home-cooked meal? Could you commit to bringing a weekly dinner? It’s never too early to pray so that your heart is prepared when needs arise.

Getting it Started

Once your heart is ready, apply one of these ideas to begin. Don’t overthink it. After all, God is with you and for you.

• Invite frequently. Is your church having a community event? Invite an acquaintance that you are just getting to know. Are you having a cookout for your kid’s birthday? Ask your shut-in neighbor to come sit for a meal and conversation. Going to a women’s bible study group? Offer to pick up your co-worker on the way. Start viewing get-togethers as a way to “invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind”.
• Recruit your faith family to help. Ask a sister in Christ or a family from church to help facilitate a get-together. Not only can they help with meal prep or clean up, but hosting can feel less intimidating if you have some familiar faces with you.
• Start a small group that meets regularly for a few weeks at a time. If you like structure, you can find a book or bible-reading plan to work through together and hold discussions when you meet. However, there’s nothing wrong with keeping it open-ended either. Pro tip: Rotating houses can help to avoid burnout.
• Have a revolving guest list. Alternatively, try to invite new people each time. This would be great for new neighbors or first-timers at your church. If possible, strive to have a mix of people you know well as well as people you are getting to know to help create a sense of community.
• When you are invited as a guest, ask “What can I bring?” Asking in an open-ended way can help remove any guilt of the host having to request help. Likewise, consider asking the host how you can assist with setup or cleanup as well.

Breaking the Ice

The point of Christian hospitality is to know others and show them the love of Christ, so forming relationships is essential. Use these tips to help break the ice and lessen social anxiety.

• Keep a game or two around. Undoubtedly, games are a stress-free way to get people talking and laughing. This can be really helpful if there are a couple of newcomers at the table. My personal favorite is Apples to Apples (See the link at the bottom of this page!). Additionally, if you have kids, consider having a separate game for them to play.
• Whether you’re the host or the guest, make it your goal to speak to everyone. Aim to discover at least one thing to pray about for each individual or family unit.
• Listen carefully. Simultaneously, as you listen, pray for the Holy Spirit to guide the conversation. God has a way of taking things to a spiritual place.
• Be eager to encourage. “Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” (Proverbs 16:24) People should find the conversations of Christians like a balm for their souls.
• Bad memory? Take notes. Most phones have a notepad app or a note section under each contact. Although, if you prefer pen and paper, you can keep a special hospitality notebook. After a conversation, jot down some quick highlights that will be important to remember. Specifically, names of children or family members, major dates, upcoming events, personal preferences, and even food allergies are great things to remember
• Skip small talk as much as possible. There are plenty of times to discuss the weather. However, it’s essential in our faith to really try to know others and do life with them. Use get-togethers as opportunities to go a little deeper. See ideas for conversations below.

Conversation starters

I know that initiating conversations can be intimidating and doesn’t come naturally for everyone. Open-ended questions are always useful and I’ve provided a few go-to’s to get you started. Remember, we want to go deeper than small talk.

• How are you feeling lately?
• I know you mentioned (something that has come up in conversation before). How did that go? (Use your notes if you need.)
• I’d love to hear your testimony, would you mind sharing it with me?
• How can I pray for you?
• What are your kids getting into these days?
• How are your parents?
• What has the Lord been showing you recently?

Many times people will find it easier to open up if you go first. Share something personal such as your testimony, a current trial you are experiencing, or the areas of your life that you need prayer.

Keeping it Gospel-Centered

As with any part of our faith, we shouldn’t lose the “why” in the busyness of doing. Use a few of these suggestions to keep the main thing the main thing.

• Open fellowship with prayer. If you want to see God at work, start your get-together by inviting Him in. It’s an opportunity to express gratitude for good company and remember why we love one another the way we do. This opening prayer can include blessing the food as well.
• Be generous. Listen for the needs of others as you commune and pray for ways to meet them.
• Incorporate worship. Does anyone in your group have musical talents? Ask them to bring their instrument and lead a song or two in worship, with the group joining in. I’ve seen this in action and it’s truly beautiful.
• Select a verse to read at the table and reflect on it together. Never underestimate the power of God’s word alone.
• Ask everyone to share how Jesus changed their life. This can be incredibly moving.
• Close the night in prayer. When the first person is packing up to leave, get everyone’s attention and have a closing prayer. You can thank God for good fellowship and request travel mercies as everyone goes home.
• Follow up. If someone shared something significant coming up, set a reminder to ask them how it went. This helps us walk with them and know how to help or continue praying.
• Use your notes as a personal prayer list. Conversation details and life events are not just for practicing hospitality. Most importantly, you can join them in praise for their victories and help carry their burdens to the feet of Jesus. The most neighborly thing you can do is uplift them in prayer!

You’re Ready to Start!

Share Your Insight

Do you have a practical way to incorporate hospitality into your walk with the Lord? Tell us how in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you!